Many times during my workday, I've been jolted by a call from my mother or grandmother who needed me to track down a doctor or make a financial decision. Those calls alternate with interruptions from one of my kids who needs help with a math problem.

I'm a member of the sandwich generation, the increasing population of people who are caring for older relatives in addition to their children. The recession has been particularly hard on the sandwich generation. People squeezed by pay cuts have had to stretch further to give financial help to parents. And asking the boss for time off to take mom to the doctor causes more anxiety when layoffs loom. Thinly spread, the sandwich generation is overwhelmed trying to balance it all.

At work, I've watched at least a dozen colleagues with kids of their own grappling with the huge task of becoming a decision-maker for a parent or older relative. The real dilemma is making time to care for ourselves. A mother of a toddler put on 10 pounds after abandoning exercise when her sick father moved in with her family.

Pew Research Center estimates one in eight Americans aged 40 to 60 are both raising a child and caring for a parent. The concerns may be intensified in South Florida's Hispanic community, where the culture embraces close family ties and many insist that aging relatives move in with them.

Clearly, coping is even more challenging in these harsh economic times.

Susan O'Mahoney Holtzman of Miami depleted her life savings and her daughter's college account trying to support her mother, who was ill-prepared when dementia came on quickly. Holtzman wishes she was better prepared -- financially, emotionally and legally. It's the reason she recently formed Caring Resources and put on a conference in June on caring for aging parents.

FINANCIAL SQUEEZE

"Like many others, I had never seen myself as a caregiver," she says. "My mother didn't have long-term care [insurance] and that would have helped."

Two in 10 baby boomers are providing some financial assistance to both an older family member and a younger child. With savings depleting, money is increasingly becomes an issue.

According to research from Brandeis University, it costs an average of $76,000 per year for a private room in a nursing home and $36,000 per year for an assisted-living facility.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY

Experts say now is the time to step up communications with older family members. "Because about 70 percent of adult children have never talked to their parents about finances, the baby boomers have no idea if they have to work five years longer to support everyone, or if the elderly parents have enough money for everyone to go on a world cruise," says Barbara McVicker, author of Stuck in the Middle: Shared Stories and Tips for Caregiving Your Elderly Parents.

Mental health challenges increasingly are a big part of life for those in the sandwich generation.

Robert Kemper, director of Griswold Special Care, an in-home caregiving provider, says it is impossible to completely eliminate caregiver stress but there are ways to cope. He suggests siblings divvy up responsibilities, when possible -- one handles the finances, the other handles daily needs.

Kemper's company has dubbed July as Sandwich Generation Month. "No one nationally is talking about this issue and we see it as a big gap in the conversation."

Send your comments and ideas to Cindy Krischer Goodman at
cgoodman @MiamiHerald.com